By Andrew Stillman X @andrewjstillman
Despite how amazing we think it is that there's a growing number of LGBTQ+ athletes in this year's Olympics, there's always plenty of stuff that goes down during the Games that just warms our gay hearts and also maybe turns us on every so often, as well.
The 2024 Paris Olympics have done little to disappoint.
While the conservatives lost their mind over the fiasco about The Last Supper (that wasn't even about The Last Supper), we were over here waiting to see the gymnasts in their tights, the swimmers in their speedos, and the track stars getting ready to let it all hang out.
Here are 17 of our favorite sexiest moments from the 2024 Olympics (so far), and may the Good Lordt bless them all.
The moment Anthony Ammirati's penis got in the way of his pole vaulting will forever go down as one of the sexiest moments in Olympic history. Perhaps he'll make friends with a drag queen and get some tips on how to prevent that from happening in the future, but we're actually hoping this starts to happen a little more often.
Jules Bouyer has one of the best bulges from this year's Games, no questions asked. That moment when he adjusted his speedo line? Please. We forgot to breathe for a moment, and we also hoped for a second that he'd forget where he was and just totally drop trow.
Every round of the Olympics brings talk about the "anti-sex" beds made of cardboard, and our favorite sexy diver Tom Daley gave us a little sneak peek of what that actually looks like. Hey, we're sure there were some workarounds for everyone, but we loved him giving us this BTS look that let our fantasies run wild.
Tom Daley wasn't the only one who gave us a sneak peek into the "anti-sex" beds, and Irish gymnast Rhys McClenaghan also gave us a glimpse. He took it a little extra further by letting us know he wasn't "rigorous enough" the first time he tried it out, so we proceeded to watch him give it a harder go.
Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images
We know Tom Daley is taken (with a beautiful husband and children), but we loved watching Noah Williams give him a little kiss to celebrate their silver medal win. Maybe they took the celebration home to the cardboard beds afterward?
We will forever be a Stephen Nedoroscik stan and watching him on the pommel horse will always be a highlight from these games for us.
Listen, Arno Kamminga's see-through shorts are everything. We just wish it would have let us actually see everything, but sometimes beggars really just can't be choosers, can they?
Anytime there's ass-to-hand contact, we're into it, and the men's volleyball players from Team USA gave us everything we needed during a team huddle.
Photo by JONATHAN NACKSTRAND/AFP via Getty Images
Campbell Harrison may have failed to qualify for the climbing finals, but he still celebrated his loss with a big, fat smooch to his partner as a means of defying homophobic trolls who have come after him ever since he did the same thing once he qualified for the Olympics back in November.
The bulge, the way the water dripped down his body, and everything about Kevin Muñoz in the shower had every bit of our attention.
We love men in speedos hugging. We love men in speedos jumping up and down. We also loved when Rylan Wiens and Nathan Zsombor-Murray gave us both when they celebrated taking home the bronze for synchronized diving.
There are very few jobs in the world we wish we had outside of the world of journalism, and one of those is the ability to massage out athletes when they're tense. This massage on US basketball player Jimmer Fredette's groin will likely be played on repeat for us as we imagine what it would be like for us to be the one behind it.
The way Choe Daehan shoots brought us to life. It's giving poise, it's giving perfection, it's giving everything we didn't know we needed from an Olympic shooter.
Team China, whether you knew the camera was rolling or not, we saw that leg grab. There's bound to be plenty of touching amongst team members, straight or otherwise, that we don't get to see, but we love every time they get caught, even if it's quick (i.e., this and with Team USA volleyball.)
We just love Tyler Downs in the shower. That's all. We're also hoping he turns to OnlyFans like so many of his comrades so we can see what he's working with underneath that speedo.
Okay, but that threesome -- or, rather, the eluded threesome -- in the opening ceremony was where it's at. It gave awareness to bisexuality and also gave a deeper insight into inclusion with races considering it was also multi-racial. A lot of things went down in that opening ceremony, but this was definitely one of the sexiest.
The South Korean archery team hugging and holding hands while the crowd chanted them on will live rent-free in our minds for a while. Is it bad we want to advocate for archers to take off their shirts when they shoot?
Everything about Tommy Paul is sexy. We're happy to watch him with or without a shirt, so long as he puts all of his force behind that racket just like he's always done.
Listen, we can't even be mad about this. We'd be lying if we said we might not be even more obvious if we were sitting that close to him, and we commend him for being able to keep it together as well as he did.
