The Most Useless and Inappropriate Items in the SkyMall Catalog

We already knew the SkyMall catalog is filled with gay gifts, but that's just scratching the weird surface. A tour through the latest edition, which advertises new holiday fare, showcased some really amazing items. See what we mean below and on the following pages:

Who needs angels and stars when you have dumplings dangling from your Christmas tree? Related: this may be the first time "Pierogi lover" has appeared in print.

 

Martha Stewart, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Blake Lively all recommend the Holiday Yeti for bringing a touch of class to any holiday gathering.

 

Some may say dressing your baby as a Mexican specialty is culturally insensitive, but we say ignore them; this is a great way to drop fifty bucks. Just stay clear of cannibals.

 

We'll let this item speak for itself.

Who wouldn't love their precocious daughter sitting on John Lennon's face (you know, the one with the handlebar mustache)?

 

So, you've seen this handsome cowboy's face above and wondered, What could he be shilling? Well, an adult plush ball, of course. This is perfect to whip out on a first date.

 

"Look Ma, no hands!"

 

This idiotic... well, actually this could serve a purpose. Film this thing scaring your friends and you could make your money back when the video goes viral.

Live out your AbFab fantasies with this Edina Monsoon-style iso tank. I mean, you could buy a car, but this seems like a much better idea.

 

Have you ever wished for a $10,000 human dog bed? If not, it's time.

 

This is something Kim Kardashian and Kanye West would buy after Anna Wintour told them Easter Island was cool.

 

Hey, lots of people with pools have horrible taste. You can too!

 

It's about time someone solved the problem of ripping a paper towel off a roll. The struggle is real.

Nothing like christening your house with the world's least funny joke.

 

If you meet someone with a purse that blinks... run.

 

These super clever shirts are only available in 'Bob.' Not Ned, Tom, Jack, or Mary. Just Bob.

 

Admittedly, a sharkboat that flies out of the water is indeed cool. But let's admit that anyone who can afford an $85,000 toy ain't lookin' in the SkyMall catalog.